I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. -Psalm 119:11
By SUSIE LARSON
“It is written: ‘I believed; therefore I have spoken.’ Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak.” 2 Corinthians 4:13(NIV)
Ever had one of those weeks when everything that could go wrong did go wrong? You can’t find your groove, and your circumstances repeatedly trip you up and stress you out?
I remember one such week for me.
I battled insomnia in the worst way, which made me feel prickly all over. My children were out of sorts, too. They were under the weather and crabby and seemed to cry over the littlest things. I felt irritable and easily frustrated — so tired that my skin hurt.
At one point I passed by a mirror and winced. I didn’t at all like the reflection staring back at me. I saw only the worst version of myself.
Tired. Crabby. Exhausted. Brain-fogged.
Which was especially uncomfortable since I had a speaking event coming up that weekend.
How could I possibly prepare my heart when I couldn’t even find my footing? But then, deep within my soul, I sensed God’s invitation to trust Him with the surface parts of me, things I could barely stand to acknowledge, as well as to trust Him with the deepest parts of me that still needed healing and wholeness.
Amid the temptation to loathe myself and cringe at my weakness, I put my foot down and prayed: “Lord, even here, even now, I belong to You. And despite my bleary eyes and messy hair, I’m still Your treasure — a spoken-for heir of God. This is true because You say it’s true. So I speak it out loud for my own ears to hear and I choose to believe it until my heart fully knows it. Thank You, thank You for seeing past my frazzled exterior and for valuing the treasure of my soul. I wrap my arms around Your grace. I seek Your face in this place. And I will finish this race because You promised to get me safely home. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.”
Something stirred in my heart after that prayer. I knew God’s words were true regardless of how I felt about myself.
Just like we read in 2 Corinthians 4:13, we too can believe and therefore speak. How? First, we dare to believe; we grab God’s truth as our very own. Then, it’s our choice to believe; we walk and talk like it’s true.
When faith makes its way into our ears, it also finds its way into our hearts. Often when my ears hear my mouth say truths God has reflected in His Word, I’m changed. I’m strengthened. And I remember once again I’m not who I was. I’m not what I do. I’m someone God loves and enjoys.
In life, we’ll walk through storms which smash against us. We’ll try to find our footing amidst pelting rain and whipping winds. Sometimes those storms are of our own making. Sometimes they’re the natural elements of a fallen world. And sometimes we’re turned upside down in a storm that had nothing to do with us and everything to do with someone else’s rotten choices.
No matter the reason for the storm, at times we’ll find ourselves responding in ways that are beneath us. We’ll say things we wish we hadn’t. We’ll be forced to reckon with our humanity and with our very real need for a Savior. (Praise God we have one!)
During such times it helps to remind our souls that we love because He loved us first. We can walk in God’s promises, not because we’re perfect, but because He is perfect. We can enjoy God’s presence because He’s the One who invited us there in the first place. We can and will be used greatly by Him because He knew all about our frailties long before we were ever aware of them, and He planned ahead of time to redeem us from them. Amazing grace!
Thank You, Lord, that Your words are true and I can fully believe them. Even when I trip up, You’re there to catch me. You don’t look the other way in disgust. Your grace is enough for me! There is no one like You! I will believe. I do believe. I will, therefore, speak with boldness and great power. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.